Finding My Purpose

Updated: Dec 22, 2020

Saying that this year has been very unusual is an understatement. A lot of things happened and yet did not happen at the same time. We all had to face challenges and struggles in our lives that we have never thought we would have to. A lot of change happened in the World, in certain systems and in us, humans, as well. Or I should say, I hope so. I am hoping that people are realising that transformation is needed and not just in our environment, surroundings but also, within us to better ourselves and to find our lives’ purpose so it can be fulfilled and the life we deserve can be lived.

Number of people, influencers and coaches on social media are doing their very best to help you get through difficult times. They are offering their wisdom, their experiences in life to make you feel understood, heard, supported and not alone. They are giving their advices on what to do with time gained and what tools you can use in the now that will positively influence your future. They are doing it all genuinely and by their best knowledge. A lot of the times what I hear and see them saying is that this is the time for change, to transform and to find your purpose. And I agree with them. However, finding your true Self, understanding, listening, and following your intuitions to live a fulfilled, purposeful life is not a “from one day to another” quick journey nor a thing you buy in a store and by following a set guidance you are able to put the pieces together.

We are all unique, we are all experiencing different things in our lives, we are all experiencing the same things differently in our lives. That is beautiful and that is how it should be. Yet, when it comes to finding out what your skill, your purpose is, people think it is a one size fits all and a lot of them are acting like there would be a guide or a certain book that you read through and you are all set, you know who you are and the reason you are here and what your “craft” is that will help you to serve others. But finding your purpose is not a straight line or, at least, it was not for me.

I came across with so many stories on how people found their purpose. There are some who knew exactly what they were going to do and how they would give back to society when they grow up from a very young age. There are others who managed to hear their inner voice’s guidance after they experienced hardships, real struggles, addictions, or loss of loved ones. And there are some out there who were just wondering around, from one place to another, searching for something but not knowing what, feeling and hearing something within that wants to break out until one day the realisation hit them and they were where they were meant to be all along. Well, that is kind of my way of finding my purpose.

It took me years of searching, a lot of mistakes and a lot of misunderstandings of my own self to become aligned and purposeful. Up until age 27, I thought I understood me and my goals clearly and I knew what I wanted to do and to be in life. But, when I was at the doorstep of getting what I thought wanted and starting to make my dream a reality, I became aware of an inner voice within me that asked me the question: “What are you doing here?” I instantly felt this was not for me. So left it all and decided to restart. There was I, age 27, and I had no idea who I was, what I wanted to do in life or who I wanted to become.

I was working in retail for about ten years and during that time, I was employed by eight different companies. Some of them was short lived, three to four months. At other places, I managed to survive for a year. Maximum. I do not think I have ever lasted a company for over a year. Why? Looking back, I see that it was because I was trying to find myself, my purpose and what I wanted to do in life. I was just looking for it at the wrong section. Deep down, thought, I have always known retail would not be my calling due to different reasons. One; I did not like not having my own freedom in the day, that I had to work from 10am to 6pm so that someone else (meaning the owner of company) can enjoy his / her freedom and do whatever they want whilst I am making the money for them; wasting time by commuting; and not having time for myself, having only two days off per week and so on. Second; making clients buy products that I did not like or believed in, felt like lying to them, especially when that particular product was not even worth the money the company was asking for it.

For about ten years ago, I have started to come across with books about self – growth, about how to change my life around, about mindset, what habits you need to take on to change and so on. A lot of videos, podcasts, courses, stories, and signs from the Universe that I did not understand at the time came to my way. They were all transforming my mindset slowly and (un)consciously. Was I eager and desperate, though, to figure myself out? Did I have the “Give it to me NOW!” and “I want to understand and apply all the teachings and wisdom into my life right away.” and “How come I am thinking positive, but everything is still the same?” feelings and questions within? Oh, yes! It took me a lot of time, and practise to get where I am today, to understand all the meanings of every well - known self – awakening advices, clichés and quotes truly and fully.

Years of working on myself helped me to dig deeper and listen to that inner voice within. To that intuition inside that made me see that the only always constant, important, and permanent thing in my life, no matter what, is exercise. So, I decided to do something on that area. Why not become a personal trainer. So I did. Then I realised that working out walks hand in hand with healthy eating and because at the time I was having an unhealthy relationship with food, I decided to sign up for a nutrition course but purely just for myself to make my eating habits and my connection to food better and healthier. But I also thought to myself, having this certificate never hurts, maybe, later on, I can do something with it. That is how I signed up to be a nutritionist. Regarding yoga, it was a physical exercise that was getting popular, so, it seemed a good idea to become an instructor. I was thinking to myself, all these fields; exercise – healthy eating – yoga; are falling under the same category so make sense to gain certification in all of them. I imagined I would be an instructor with clients for personal training in a gym where I also get to teach yoga, as well.

This is how I stepped on the right field. I thought: “This is it, I am good now, I know what I want.” But, yet again, the Universe showed me that I am not fully there yet, not exactly in full alignment with my true purpose yet. I was just getting there. When I started to go deeper and practise with more commitment and willingness to get better at breathing techniques and meditation, when I started to read and hear more about inner Self growth, spirituality, about who we are truly; those were the real guides that led me to a life transforming season. But it was during and after my yoga instructor course when I got to fully understand and accept my purpose in life. My inner intuitions gained more clarity and reassurance that with yoga and mindset mentoring I wish to connect to others, to you, to hear your very own and unique story and guide you to find you inner Self and align with that infinite being to fulfil your life’s purpose and live the life you deserve. So, see; it started out as main focus on personal training and as a fun, second area; yoga teaching. But it ended up being not even practising personal training but only giving all my energies to yoga and mindset mentoring.

So, as you can see, it was not like; all of a sudden just because I started to read self – help books and tried my best to live by those philosophies and advices, I found my purpose. No. It took me years of searching for my purpose even though it was right in front of me all along. Occasionally, I heard my intuition, and listened to it and I, also, felt someone within that was screaming within me and wanted to break out but I had no idea what that was. It was my true Self, I know now, who was always trying to get my attention but I was not ready enough to hear it. When you are ready, slowly but surely, as you became more aware and conscious, the road in front of you start to reveal itself.

The only thing that matters in Self discovery and finding your purpose is that you make the decision to dare, to step out of the comfort zone, to choose the change and the unknown, to be committed and determined, to be willing to do what is necessary, to try out as many thing as possible to know what works for you and what does not. The more changes you are making, the more experiences you are gaining, the more clearly you will see who you are, what you want and what is your unique purpose and message that needs to be delivered as you.